six stations of divorce

i.

love.

TEDtalks.

they are just 

so 

inspiring!

captivating

motivating

and

informationating

:)

i recently watched a TEDtalk entitled, 

"why rejection hurts so much and what to do about it"

guy winch, the speaker in this talk, declared that in america:

- we severely neglect our emotional health -

we care a lot about our physical hygiene, 

and have no problem going to the doctor for a broken bone.

but we do not actively practice preventative "emotional hygiene".

nor do we seek to understand how our emotional health,

can greatly affect our physical well being.

i felt this talk went really well with what i was learning in class this week. 

usually when someone hears the word,

"divorce"

they might immediately think of the legalities of such an occurrence:

courtrooms

child custody battles

signing papers 

etc.

when in all reality,

there are actually six different kinds of divorce a couple will go through

when they decide to dissolve the bond they once so much delighted in.

these "six stations of divorce"

make separating from a spouse a lot more complicated that you might initially think.

they are as follows:

1) emotional divorce - spouses lose trust, respect and affection for one another. they no longer seek to help or support, only to hurt and defeat.

2) legal divorce - legal responsibilities to each other are dissolved and the court officially brings the marriage to an end.

3) economic divorce - all property and assets between the couple is divided.

4) co-parental divorce - this type of divorce only happens between couples who have children. custody, visitation rights and parent responsibilities all must be determined.

5) community divorce - each partner may need to establish new friendship and extended family relations.

and

6) psychic divorce - each individual must accept a new sense of individualism rather than being in a partnership with their former spouse. "he or she can only start to feel whole again to the extent that the psychic divorce is final; to the extent that there is a distancing from both the positive and negative aspects of the broken relationship." 

in class we discussed how some individuals who legally divorce

never actually get to the point of psychic divorce with their former spouse. 

and as such,

can never truly move on or heal from the emotionally taxing separation. 

this could further halt any progress or growth to be made in new relationships 

and could potentially hinder any

new

real

deep

intimate 

connections from forming.

70% of people who divorce look back and say,

"we could have and should have saved the marriage."

it is important that we try to consider all aspects of divorce.

everything it affects and plays into on a deeper level

rather than just simply thinking of the

"legal divorce"

xoxo

kelsiefay