clarity

in the midst of tumultuous

sadness

 ache

anxiety

confusion

vulnerability

doubt

fear

faking it

bewilderment

hurt

numbing

self consciousness

loneliness

and longing...

- - - - - there is a major s h i f t - - - - -

a pure, penetrating peace 

takes over and fills my entire being in places i didn't even know existed.

seeping into every crack of insecurity and wound of worry, it was as if somehow at once

all is made light.

with this light brought comfort, warmth, relief and above all else . . .

c l a r i t y

what once was:

confusing

uncomfortable

unsure and ever shifting

is now replaced with:

understanding

serenity

confidence and solidity

this light, truth and c l a r i t y surrounds and abounds

and i am left with the purest, most peaceful and sincere

joy.

"for the word of the Lord is truth, and whatsoever is truth is light, and whatsoever is light is Spirit, even the Spirit of Jesus Christ." - d&c 84:45

they say, "it's always darkest before the dawn . . ."

but what is it about this extreme contrast in life that is the only means by which to catalyze such cutting clarity?

can we really sing the sweet without beforehand bearing the bitter?

is it possible to:

 find without seeking?

receive answers without asking?

know without wondering?

opinionating without researching?

i don't think it is.

- - -

this week i have gained a new set of eyes with which to see

and new being in which to be. 

thankful to:

my God for bringing me to a place i would have never found on my own

and my family relations class for providing me with truth necessary to chisel away crippling prejudice

on the matter of the latter . . .

 why is it in our being as a human race to immediately judge those around us without knowing their whole story?

i know i am guilty of this on a daily basis, 

even without recognizing it sometimes.

however upon reading the article, "the costs of getting ahead: mexican family system changes after immigration" by martica l. bacallao and paul r. smokowski,

i am beginning to understand with more c l a r i t y the adversity immigrants of any kind face.

parents' hearts are pure in their intent to provide more opportunities for their children in a new country.

and yet they are faced with increasing family stress

and constant shift in family roles from extended separation.

my heart has forever changed to have more compassion on them and simply all others.

xoxo

kelsiefay

- the s h i f t -

everything has changed:)

***